Recognise Your Worth to Perform Better at Interviews
Getting an interview is exciting, but preparing for interviews can be a very nerve-wracking experience for many. Many clients I work with often say how nervous they feel, using statements such as, “I’m being judged” or “I’m scared of failing”. It can trigger childhood memories of sitting for exams. There’s a fear of what the outcome might be like — “will I pass? What will the future hold if I don’t?”
It doesn’t help if we’ve been brought up to be modest about our capabilities. People are often too afraid to express their capabilities to others, as they fear that by doing so they may be perceived as being big headed, arrogant, brash or cocky — all seen as unwelcoming traits. What can happen is people are so risk adverse to coming across this way that they opt to be very modest or humble, which are often more favourable traits. Recognising your own perceptions and beliefs about expressing your capabilities and skills to others could help you to identify what might be holding you back from being able to speak about yourself at interviews.
If talking about what you are good at makes you feel uncomfortable, sit with the discomfort for a while and you will notice that with practise, the discomfort will reduce. If the idea of talking about what you are good at to complete strangers fills you with dread, practise talking about yourself in a positive way within a safe space, such as with supportive family members and friends. This may help you to become more comfortable with talking to strangers openly about what you are good at.
Many people who may not have interviewed for years can struggle to think of what they do well, as the nature of their work focuses on doing rather than reflecting on their successes at work. Interviews often require the job candidate to explain what they do, and also how well they carry out their job roles. Some people become so proficient in their roles that it becomes second nature — referred to as unconscious competence — so it can be hard to explain how they do it.
For interview preparation, it is useful to take time out to reflect on your capabilities so that you become conscious of the skills you possess. Don’t berate yourself if you struggle to think of achievements straightaway; allowing yourself time to self-reflect and referring to the job description and your appraisals may help to remind you of what you do well. Sometimes asking close colleagues or your manager to remind you of what you are good at can help, as they have observed you in a workplace setting and it can be easier for them to talk about your qualities, particularly if you don’t feel comfortable identifying them yourself. Some of the questions below may help to get you thinking about what you are good at:
- You are due to have a one-to-one meeting with your dream employer. What would you like them to know about you?
- What occasions have you felt most proud of in a work or educational setting?- What activities makes you feel most energised?
- If I asked your best friend how they would describe you, what would they say?
- What makes you come alive at work?
- When have you felt most confident at work?
- What is the benefit of what you do? Who does it impact on?
- What personal qualities would you like to be known for?
Part of building confidence to attend interviews is being comfortable talking about yourself. By practising this on a regular basis it can lessen the discomfort, awkwardness and nervousness around interviews.
Whilst an interview is a test and the interviewers are making an assessment against the job criteria, sometimes looking at interviews from a different perspective can lessen the tension of seeing them as an ordeal you have to bear. Interviews can be an opportunity to connect with another person who is a gateway to another world that you are potentially interested in joining. Seeing interviews as a “get to know you” and an opportunity to make connections can make it more exciting.
Another way to see interviews is to think how you can be of service to a future employer. When a job is advertised, the employer has a need or problem that needs to be met. They are looking for someone who has a certain set of skills. So if you have been selected for an interview, the employer is likely to be thinking, “thank goodness, I’m able to find the right people to help with these issues”. So another way to look at interviews is to see how you can be of service to the employer by talking about what you can do well, as you could potentially be the solution they are looking for!
It is also worth remembering that hiring managers have often been in the same position as you, where they have been the job candidate, so they can empathise with your nerves. Remembering that the interviewer is another human being with feelings and that they are likely to have some understanding of what’s it like can be reassuring to know. Most interviewers don’t intend to make it deliberately difficult for candidates to get a job. Why would they? Interviewing requires taking time out of their day to find suitable candidates. By telling the employer what you are capable of, it helps them to make a more accurate and informed judgement of your suitability for the role.
Deepening the relationship you have with yourself by valuing your worth is a good place to start for leaning into the discomfort of attending interviews. There are a number of ways you could do this, such as listing your achievements (try listing 20, no matter how big or small they might be).
List your skills. Collect nice comments from people. Carry out an anonymous survey to family, friends and colleagues to find out what they like about you. Start a self-appreciation journal, commenting each day what you appreciate about yourself. Notice if you use any self-deprecating words, even if it is in the form of humour to put yourself down. Instead, start verbalising good things about yourself. By doing so, you will begin to realise that it’s okay to own your inner resources and to feel good about yourself. And it is okay to shine at interview.
